Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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