She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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