that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
