We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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