no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
