never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I deserve this hangover.
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