It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I want to be your penis for a week.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
