his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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