doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
