am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
