he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
