11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Randomize
