he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
