yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What a dumb baby whore.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
