id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
