I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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