just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
