Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
