worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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