I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
