You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She announced her abortion via fbk
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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