Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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