yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
