Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I looked at my own cervix.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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