I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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