I puked a lego.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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