The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
