I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
