shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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