this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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