OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
