So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
