So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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