Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
