last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
