i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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