Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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