Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
