Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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