i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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