i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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