I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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