HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
