We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
