My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
