This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
