do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
