If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
