and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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