Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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