I hate your face
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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