whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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