If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
