i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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