my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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