elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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